Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
If gods won't do the right thing, then why do they exist?
Look around you. Who brings to life monsters?
I see them as a way of continuing us.
Scene shifts to the center of town where, Vorunax, you see yourself holding Malice and Acer, crying to the heavens.
I know what I must do, then. I grab the Wand of Orcus and I try to use it on Lipsinki.
Looks like we're doing pretty good here. Vorunax, take a look.
I step over to the edge and take a look.
We're just going to give this all up?
What are we giving up? I've already lost everything I held dear.
And if I have the chance to ride it, that's what I must do.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master Russ More. He, him. Also with me today is Amy More.
Yeah, she, her. And today I will be playing all, all the people. All of them.
Gael, Nyhunter, Oglokanu, she, they. Thea, Amastasia, she, her. And Sullivan Sleight, he, him.
And Tom Laird.
Yeah, that's me. He, him. I am playing Moot, who goes by he. Okay, they're all he, him.
So I'm playing Moot, Telgir, and Flint.
And Karla Maxted.
She, her. And thank goodness, Glim, Elia, Lipsinki, Yenbul.
All she, her also, which was just good foresight.
Just such a good time saver.
This very moment.
And joining us again, some, we call them guests, but they're just like family.
It's Kristen Flemmons.
Again?
Hello, I'm Kristen, she, her. And I will be playing once again, Agath,
Godlust, Katho, Olavi, she, her. And you know what, just so I can have another character,
her horse, Tresraxis, he, him.
Dang.
And Kyle Clasett.
Hey everyone, he, him. I'm going to be reprising my role as Vorunax, as a true chief.
Boo.
No, he's a good guy now. He might not, we got him on our side.
I mean, unless, unless you want to make me upset and then I can just flip that switch.
It's easy.
No, no, no, no. Player knowledge, character knowledge. Vorunax has no idea. Boot him.
No, I am, I'm happy to be back at the table. Thank you for allowing me to return
time after time. I hope I don't wear out my welcome ever. Y'all are great.
Never.
As we've tricked you into coming back over and over again.
And the fact that you think it's your idea.
I know, like, no, we just keep making you. We just leave it on a cliffhanger every time.
That's the Stockholm syndrome.
What other show do you need a 20 minute synopsis before we start playing and recording like?
Exactly.
More relaxing podcasts.
You know, if I could get that every day of my life, just for my life,
I would, I've really, so it's honestly kind of refreshing.
Damn a recap of what I did the day before.
This is who you are. And this is where you were last time you were conscious.
And this is what you should be doing. I love that.
As long as it's recorded by Russ, that's, that's the caveat to that.
TM TM TM. Cause I mean, that could be just a way to wake up a new alarm clock.
I think it's called 50 First Dates with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.
But also a great idea. And where we have tons of great ideas,
like 50 First Dates is over on Patreon.com slash dump Dragoncast where clearly we invented
50 First Dates.
Yep. You heard it here first.
We do a lot of time travel. So obviously one of the things we
time traveled back to do was create 50 First Dates.
We just whispered it in Adam Sandler's ear.
A completely non-problematic movie.
Look, don't think it's romantic if you don't think about it. Okay.
We're also, when you're a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.
Like today's patron, Cody Goyette.
Cody, thank you so much. You're amazing.
When you join us over there to reinvent another 70 First Dates.
Uh, that was, that was terrible. Patreon.com slash dump Dragoncast.
Fuck it. Let's play.
Flint, the sound of birds chirping and quick movements through a thick,
dense jungle can be heard beneath the heavy panting of Flint Firebeard,
who's carrying an axe covered in cuts and scrapes and blood coming down.
And he's looking around nervously at the trees when
an arrow zips by your head from high up in the canopy.
You turn and you look and you see movement high up as Bort is nimbly jumping from tree to tree.
Flint mutters, I can't believe a Dragonborn can move that fast.
And you're going to be like this fucking guy.
This fucking guy again.
And I'll try and, uh, I'll try and lose him as he's in the, in the treetops and I'm down
below. I'll try and, uh, some fancy maneuvers. Okay. Make a stealth check.
Okay. That is a 17.
You quickly move out of the way after you see him hopping from tree to tree and duck behind a
carved out trunk where you have space to rest and try and get your bearings.
You hear footsteps moving past the position where you are.
I'm going to, I'm going to peek my head out and see if I can see this asshole track them down.
What's your passive investigation?
Uh, D and D beyond tells me it's 14.
He's about 30 feet over. So probably two or three solid big trees away from you.
I'm going to creep around and try to get like directly underneath them.
Yeah. With your stealth role, you can get to the tree right beneath him.
And you see him, he's knocked an arrow and looking around. You've managed to, uh,
conceal your position with just the ambient sound around you.
Uh, what's my weapon situation here? Do I just have the one axe?
You have an axe and a dagger. Two of them were previously seen
in the middle of this stark white room.
Okay. Those are the only two.
Okay. Yeah. I guess if I have a clear shot at him, I'll,
I'll try to throw my dagger at him.
We're going to try and hit him. Yeah.
Okay. Make a ranged attack, please.
Are you trying to get up at him? Are you trying to get him in the butthole?
Like, like pulling a Carla?
I mean, taint, whatever works. It's fine.
Uh, okay. That is, oh, it's a dirty 20.
Yeah. Just describe to me, well, you can hit them.
I mean, you can hit them in the butthole if you want to,
but describe to me what happens.
Yeah. Like upper thigh wind up, throw this dagger.
I know it makes contact because of the, the sound and the,
and the cry that follows out after that.
He loses his footing and begins to fall to the ground
as this dagger sticks into his thigh.
And as he hits the ground before you,
it's like reality bends beneath him
and everything begins to get sucked down on top of him,
yourself included, until you are in this churning and roiling mess.
You're going to take, uh, you want to roll a D12 for me?
Oh, I'll definitely roll it. I like Tom.
Never get to roll D12.
Shit. Sorry, sorry, Tom. It's 11.
Oh, I love it.
I rolled a good one.
You're going to take 11 bludgeoning damage
as you're being churned up in what is this basically laundromat,
I mean, a washing machine of, of trees and rock and dirt,
and you're spit out into another location.
Kristen, where do they come up?
Hmm. Can it be on a tree branch?
Yeah.
Perilously perched.
I love it.
You're 150 feet up as the two of you land on this narrow tree branch
that's coming out from the single tree
in the middle of what is this vast jungle.
The sun is beating down on you
and you move to catch your step, make a dexterity saving throw.
Is a 22.
Your first step slips, but you manage to catch yourself
and you're staring down Bort at the other end of this
and he's got his bow and arrow loosely held.
They're not knocked and he looks at you and says, well,
you're not looking too good.
I mean, you're, you're not really wanting to talk here, but
I've got a little bit more of a chance at making it back down than you do.
Well, how do you figure that?
He quickly moves and rushes you, knocking his arrow at the same time, loosing it.
It's going to be a 16 to hit your AC.
No, that is not enough.
My AC is 18.
Glints off of your armor, but he continues forward and bashes into you
and the two of you begin to fall.
Wind is whipping by your ears as you crash down into another branch lower down
and we see the two of you tumbling down to the ground
and we snap back to the beach
where the undead horde is standing motionless.
Little click noises and groans slowly coming from them.
As we see everyone gathered outside a tent,
looking out at the massacre that is and all of the undead stopped and waiting.
The dragons in the sky seem to be in this just gliding free fall,
like how albatross fly, like they dip down and then come back up gliding on the air.
Like Falcor.
Exactly like Falcor.
An airship has landed down on the beach side with Thea and Vorunax,
Lipsinki and Tulgear having come down off.
Everybody is collected and Vorunax is explaining how he has
the undead horde in the position that he has them.
See, I am able to control their motions.
They are placed under my whim thanks to, well, Orcus.
The problem that we are facing though is how long I actually have control of them.
Because at a certain point, daddy's gonna know.
Yeah, the big guy's gonna realize and then we can't, you know, he's gonna.
About how long do you think we have?
It's a hard guess, but I do have an idea that could give us an advantage.
I turn and gesture my hand to have them all walk back into the ocean.
With this groaning, grinding, like bone on bone grinding,
they all slowly turn as if they're fighting against something else,
but then begin to move slowly back under the water.
Perhaps if they get far enough before Orcus notices, then that will
buy the people here some time while we manage to do, well, at this point,
whatever it is you all say we need to do to fix this.
So what are we doing?
Is Bahamut also standing around with us just like?
No, Bahamut's not in this immediate group right now.
You see Bahamut high in the sky and he moves back down to the ground.
There's this silver blood dripping from where his wounds were opened by these dragons
and transforms back into his human form as he reaches the beach.
Kind of just brushes himself off a little bit.
He's beaten up, he's got torn robes, and begins to walk over to you.
My god, he's so cool.
Glim obviously runs up to him.
Are you, you're, you're fine, right?
Like we don't have to worry that you're gonna like go back into the coma
or anything, you look a little, you're okay?
I'm okay, I'm okay.
Do you need me to do like a quick little, just a real little focus on my,
would that help at all?
If I just really concentrate it on my love for you?
Yes, do, do that.
Just concentrate on your love.
All right, will do.
That'll just, that'll just fuel me back up.
Just fills my heart with joy.
Perfect.
The alien says, so we're gonna tell Garen goes,
imagine thinking so much of yourself that you think that like you could heal a god.
Not saying, just saying.
You know, it sounds like she's waited a long time for this.
So maybe we'll just let her have this one.
I'm saying it to you and I'm not saying it to her.
I mean, yeah, I know.
But like, yeah, we'll just give it to her.
Just let her have it.
I forgot we were enemies.
I think frenemies is the better term.
Yeah, it's real awkward for me.
Uneasy allies.
I forgot.
Down the beach, we see a goth coaxing the tabaxi out of the forest back towards the village.
Are you sure it's safe?
No.
But you should come anyway.
You are required.
This is your job as forces to defend.
I'm 16.
Everybody dies sometime.
Mom.
I think she's trying to use Traz like to literally herd cats.
Sure.
Which is obviously not his favorite activity either.
So there's just this like extremely aggravated translucent creepy warhorse
like scattering tabaxi left, right and center as she is like, I don't.
This is a waste of my time and my skills.
No, no, it's OK.
It's OK.
Just let me let me let me let me go talk to them.
You didn't take any of the juice boxes or snacks, did you?
No, let me I can reason with them.
You go you go join all the important people.
She'll just spin on her heel.
OK, everybody follow me.
OK.
Step one and two, I think complete.
Keep keep the city safe.
Yeah.
And have have help from Vorunax and Lipsinki.
Yeah.
So are you saying we were step two?
I really feel more comfortable if we were step one.
You were absolutely step one.
OK.
100% step 110% step one.
OK, because, you know, we're going from a pretty high level position.
So I don't want to.
Oh, my God.
You guys ruler of my entire universe right now.
Oh, well, that might be.
Too much.
Oh, I thought that was too much responsibility somewhere in between.
Oh, we'll figure it out.
But two steps done, one way more important than the other.
Now, I think it's it's time to do the, you know, time.
The time travel.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, we should probably like.
The zombies are going back into the sea.
Love to see it.
Love to see them walk away.
So probably now is a good time to like, do what we need to do.
Leosin runs out from one of the tents.
Says the ritual, the ritual is ready to try and bring Flint or Flint back.
Yeah, Flint back.
That's the goal.
We talked about it.
Yes, we did.
Yes.
Why did you say and then say Flint?
Well, there are two of them in there.
OK, yes, I know that.
He's not really sure like which one is going to come back.
OK, OK, OK, OK.
No, this just sounds noncommittal.
Flint is coming back.
It's called the power of positive thinking.
Let's go do this thing.
Why are you having an issue being able to pin down a soul?
Can you?
Are you?
Do you have?
Is this something that is in your wheelhouse?
I like, are you real good at like those claw grabber machines?
Is that what it's like?
Our Klauna?
Yeah, I mean, I would have to assume.
OK, would you come with us and give my aid?
However you think I can give it and giving some guidance here
is what needs to be done.
Then let's go.
Flint is an extremely strong fighter.
He will be.
Yeah, I remember.
Sorry, I'm a little emotional.
This is a big day.
It's been a while since I've seen him.
That being said, once we successfully bring him back,
I'll probably just need to be out of the room for a moment.
I know we.
Flint doesn't know about.
Oh, yeah, that would be quite there.
He won't be up to date on the new comings and goings.
Yeah, that'll be quite the meeting.
Although it could be really funny to be like,
ha, ha, I've brought you back.
Ha, trick him for a moment and have a little fun with it.
Yeah, we can play with it however you want.
It's your friend, Tia, so I don't want to interrupt,
but I feel like maybe too soon.
Like if he just came back, maybe like a little too soon
for what would otherwise be a very funny joke.
Of course, we're not going to actually do it.
I'm just going to hug him real tight.
Inconsequential evil.
We can do inconsequential evil, right?
If you got that evil built up inside you
and you just got to let it out and like little, you know,
just release the valve a little bit.
I don't think I'm going to be able to do it cold turkey.
No, I couldn't expect you to.
Thank Orcus.
I thought we were going to have to just no evil at all
from now on and I just couldn't.
Oh, that slip.
I didn't mean thank Orcus.
I'm sorry.
It's just.
We're not looking for you to be perfect.
Just looking for you to be your badass selves
and not be controlled by, you know, a dick.
Can do.
Okay, let's go like pull Flint back into his own body.
Okay, Tia Vorunax, Glim Bahamut is probably best
to bring you being the god and the one closest to the god
to assist in the ritual.
Glim's face like him saying closest to the god
is like dear diary.
Glim basically like skips to where they need to go.
The five of you skip off to the med tent.
Are we holding hands or?
Vorunax and lip sync.
You're probably holding hands.
Lip sync.
He's going with Vorunax.
Probably.
Why is that important?
I don't imagine we'd be separated at any point.
Okay, as the six of you skip off holding hands,
some people holding hands, others not holding hands.
Agath, Sully and Moot and Flamekins are.
And Grancis.
Grancis Grancis was weekend at Bernie's
in the last one, so he's probably going to get woken up next.
I think.
I don't fucking remember where Grancis was.
Sometimes he's awake and sometimes he's sleeping, so.
I thought he was on the airship.
I think he's narcoleptic.
And sometimes.
Maybe he had a fact of coming back from the abyss.
That's right.
It's sleepy.
Sully and Moot, you're specifically talking about
the next thing to come, where you're going.
So yeah, I wasn't.
And I was told that I would perhaps be too powerful.
Right.
I believe that was what was mentioned.
And that it would the bAlydince when you know,
you know when it's got to be like a really kind of epic
where it's you know, it's toe to toe.
And just if I was down there, just be all like really heavy handed on our side.
And it just wouldn't really seem like the victory.
Well, and like we want everyone to feel like they contributed equally.
So yeah, it's not it's not fair to everyone else
if you just go and do all the girl would just be sitting down,
just like eating a banana or something like that.
Just like watching me do my stuff.
So it would have been real would have been real awkward for her.
So yeah, and I'm going to fuck ball in the past.
Excuse me.
Yeah, that's pretty much what's going to happen.
What about you?
Is this do you have like a prearranged situation?
We talked about it in the last episode.
You and hold on.
You and sorry, you're okay.
No, we talked about it.
We discussed it.
Yeah, I do not recollect that conversation at all.
It was all like bringing the sexy back.
And we were like, yeah, he was.
And then he's like, yeah, probably get down with him in the past.
This is things that happen.
Don't worry about it.
I stayed.
I was talking to you.
Big Goliath.
There's two of you.
Big Goliath floating around.
You're you.
We do not have to say big.
You can just say Goliath.
We are almost always big anyway.
It is redundant.
I know you don't like me very much.
Other Goliath, the one who's real quiet.
I would say that it would be hard to forget
that hearing about those romantic plans with Bahamut.
But I think.
Well, I mean, there's probably room not to say you will.
Stay as far away from that as possible.
Yeah, that's okay.
That's fair.
Sully, did she mean in human form or dragon form?
Oh, my God.
I got a visual.
I just can't even right now.
The mechanics of that just wouldn't.
Well, no, well, right.
No, we cut to a scene that we don't want to explain,
so we cut back to the other.
For a golf.
Right.
Well, probably her and Nighthunter just watching each other.
Like, totally.
What?
Exchange.
This is where it's like the podcasting medium.
You really wish you could just have the silent visuals of like
the what the fuck look to the left
and the what the fuck look to the right.
Gosh, would you want to walk over here with me?
Just like far away from these guys over here?
As far as possible, yes.
So how long have you had wonderful horse?
A goth like you can just sort of see her beam a little bit
and she proudly like slaps Tres on the shoulder.
Oh, since since the early stages of the war,
we have been together.
He is a marvel, is he not?
And he like tosses his mane proudly as well.
Oh, he's kind of vain.
Beautiful beast.
My God, I would not.
I do not think my wife would like me to have horse like this,
but I mean, like impressive.
I'm jealous.
I got a full look at Tres briefly,
sort of exchange a look, look at Nighthunter.
Would you like to ride him?
No, I couldn't.
There are so much going on.
It's a it's maybe maybe perhaps for five minutes.
Just just around.
It is healthy to blow off steam after battles.
I will be right back.
I have.
Oh, I have oats in my pocket.
How did those get here?
Here you go.
Yeah, his nose is already in your pocket.
And Nighthunter vaults onto this beautiful, like demon horse.
Demon horse.
Yes, beautiful, translucent, gross, majestic, giant smile on their face
and definitely rides it in front of Elia to be like,
look how happy this thing makes me.
I was just going to say for sure this is noticed by Elia.
Galloping, big wave.
Just two eyes and just Elia waves and smiles.
Her love is happy and that's great.
She probably doesn't really want to introduce a demon warhorse into the home.
But Elia, you said we couldn't have pets.
Well, you're right.
But she's just riding.
That's not.
You look at her eyes though.
That says that she's going to find a classified ad on the board
and then two days later you're going to have a horse.
I think Trez is a bit of a show off as well.
So at any moment when he knows you're being watched,
it's like dramatic rearing, blowing like the acid attack everywhere.
Like leaping over obstacles.
Yes, charging groups of tabaxi, getting revenge.
Scattering them everywhere.
I think this changes Elia's mind a little bit
because this is an impressive display and Night Hunter is so happy.
I trot back over to a goth and I leap off and I go, what's she watching?
Oh, yes.
I think maybe that could be a thing.
So it seems like here is fairly safe
since Vorunax and Lipitsynki has stopped all the undead.
Perhaps I will go to Celestia.
What will you do?
It was a rather anticlimactic way for a battle to end.
It was.
I only killed 19.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
I, since my god disappeared,
I have been hunting for a way to confront Orcus and undo this.
I think now that a direct path seems to have been opened,
I cannot turn away from that opportunity.
I have always wanted to punch Orcus in the face.
That would be very satisfying.
So you will go to the Abyss then with Thea and those others?
I believe that is my path, yes.
Night Hunter grasps a goth on the shoulder and says,
I hope you do get to punch Orcus in the face.
Gagath will do the like, you know, the forehand clasp.
Thank you.
I would welcome the chance to fight alongside you again.
However, I do hope it is a satisfying crunch.
If you die in battle,
I will get Songkitti to write anthems about you and your horse.
Are there any other options?
Oh yes, not dying in battle
and also have anthems sung about your victory and your horse.
By someone other than Songkitti?
Oh, absolutely.
There are many better parts.
To be very honest, yes.
I appreciate that.
It's a non-audio play,
but Opal jumps out when he hears anthems from behind a tree
and then as it's described that there are better bards,
slowly kind of sadly sinks back behind the tree.
He should mind his damn business.
We cut back to the Med Tent
where Thea, Leosin, Vorunax, Lipsinki, Glim and Bahamut
step back through and in.
And inside you see that Flint is in the middle of an altar
and the runes written into the sand all around him
and candles lit.
You hear what is surprising to all of you,
like the low rumbling growl of this large cat
off in the back corner.
It's this large black panther.
What the hell's that?
Oh, that's the cat lord that's been protecting the island.
Oh, thank goodness.
I thought it was...
They brought them down from the mountain
where they were hiding
as all of the undead were dropped from the airship.
Yeah, that's sad.
Sorry, it was kind of funny, wasn't it?
Yeah, funny.
It's funny when undead are falling down on top of you.
It's okay though, but Lipsinki is trying to...
No, yes, of course, trying to relate to the people.
Can I pet that giant kitty?
Can you pet a god as if it were a cat?
Please, try.
I believe in you, Lipsinki.
I'll start the paperwork.
Hello, Mr. Furry.
Come over here.
I'm going to scratch your ears.
Make a persuasion roll.
That's not an animal handling
because this is definitely a god.
Make a persuasion roll.
Okay, sure.
Come on, Nat 20.
I have a good persuasion.
Oh my god, I really did roll a Nat 20.
Yes.
Also, I have a plus nine.
I am the cat whisperer.
Yeah, you approach the cat cautiously at first.
And then as you do, it doesn't seem to make any advancements
or pull back from your scritches behind the ears.
Oh, you're such a good kitty, aren't you?
You're so big and strong.
Your fur's so soft.
She's fucking magic.
You see the potential.
That's why I had to do what I did earlier.
A while ago.
Time.
Time's weird.
Laosan leans in and says,
yeah, it's the cat lord turns back into a human
and he's kind of a creeper.
So.
Oh, uh, Lipsticky, maybe that's enough.
Maybe, you know, does he turn back with clothes on?
I don't know.
Lipsticky!
All right, I'm sorry.
I wasn't trying to be rude.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is a safety thing for you.
Okay, thank you.
I'll step away from the giant panther.
Okay, well, the panther's here for extra strength and power
and, you know, to siphon into the ritual of Bahamut here equally.
I'd like you all to position yourself around Flint and Bort
and take a position.
And you can take your position,
but then I want you to be at a spell
or a thought or a motion
or some sort of thing that you can bring to this ritual.
Being Thea, Vorunax, Lipsticky and Glim,
Leosan kind of running, you know,
quarterback on the chanting
that's happening from the book that he's reading from.
Thea knows runes.
Okay.
Some runes put some good feels out there.
So as you all take your position, Thea,
you step up closest to Flint, I would say,
the head of where he's laying in this tent.
What do you do?
Yeah, I will step up
and I will position myself, like,
not at, like, the top of his head,
but just, like, the side of his head.
Okay.
Well, I'll go to rest a hand on his shoulder
and then I'll pull it back and go,
can I touch him?
Yes, yes.
All right.
And I leave my hand on his shoulder
and I start to mutter,
Raitho, Gebo, Unjo, Nadeez.
I have the spell command
and I can pull out, I guess,
not a book of orcas or anything,
but just, like, the next book that I have,
which is probably my personal journal.
Just, like, Archie comics?
Yeah.
I'll be like,
Flint, I command you return to your body,
waken and be back to us.
And I'm kind of just, like,
hitting his body with the book as I do so,
almost, like, evangelically.
Glim approves.
Leosun's reading through the ritual,
kind of looking on as to, like,
who invited this guy?
It's worked before.
So Lipsankey is going to sort of
channel her primal savagery
because that's kind of, like,
the source of her power.
I mean, orcas is kind of the source of her power,
but so she gets her, like, long, gross,
saber-toothed, like, claws come out,
and eyes closed, very focused,
and almost, like, vibrating
and kind of growling a bit
because she's trying to channel
all of that sort of savage, primal energy.
Whoa, big old middle in here
It's just Russ chattin' at you, oh
I miss the song when nobody's here
because I just jump in
and it's all like, oh, it's just me,
but no, it's just me
and I'm still singing to you
and I can sing whatever I want
with no judgment from anybody else.
So obviously it was big old jet airliner.
That's the best I could come up with.
Fair enough?
Okay, episode's a little late this week, two-fold.
Wanted to make sure we did this one right
because there's a lot of things happening.
A lot of things happening,
especially in this last little bit here.
You're gonna wanna keep listening.
If you're a person who usually tunes out
when we start doing the middle
because you think that's the end,
I mean, well, come on, listen to the rest, please?
So yeah, lots of things happening
in the last little bit of this episode.
Everybody's doing amazing.
Love all of the people we're playing with.
Some things that are coming up.
The next couple weeks,
there won't be regular episodes.
Next week is going to be
the live-streamed improv one-shot that we did for patrons.
The second one, we're gonna be releasing that.
So Mooklem and Sully back having fun.
I can't even remember what happened in it.
It's been so long since we played it.
And clearly I'm behind on editing,
so I haven't re-edited it.
But that's gonna be coming out next week.
And then we've got a special behind the screen
at the table one-shot with a little catch-up
of what's going on in our lives
and answering a whole bunch of questions
from our listeners, from you.
Primarily people from Discord.
So if you haven't joined us in Discord,
link is down in the description.
We'd love to have you over there.
And that's usually the first place we go
when we're needing questions for things like that.
So again, next week, special bonus one-shot
with Mooklem and Sully,
the young baby Mooklem and Sully
who are so young and naive and having fun.
Everybody's having fun.
But especially young Mooklem and Sully.
And then following that,
a special behind the screen at the table Q&A
and just catch up on what's going on in our town
because there's a lot of life changes
that have been happening collectively
which has kind of slowed down
the expediency of production.
And we just want to catch everybody up to date
and talk with each other
about things that are going on in our life.
Hope you love those two episodes.
We'll be back with new episodes
immediately following the events
that happened here back in March.
That's when that's how calendars work.
So until then, we will be having great weeks,
getting ready for that,
hopefully get back on track with all the things.
Please forgive us if we don't
and we'll talk to you soon, real soon.
Okay, bye now.
We transition to a marketplace
and it's not Mithral Hall,
but it looks very dwarven-esque.
And Flint, you're chasing down port at this point.
You see, you're tracking this trail of blood
through these people.
One of them jumps out in front of you
and tries to stop you holding oranges,
watermelons, just gets right in your way.
Orange watermelons.
It's a very dwarven delicacy.
Would you like to buy?
No, sorry, can you just get out of the way?
I'm in the middle of something here.
Face goes from a smile
and begins to like morph
into this smooth featureless facade, really.
And you look down
and the orange watermelons are no longer there.
And a giant scimitar
is cutting through the air towards you.
Make a dexterity saving throw.
It's a 14, Russ.
You take a huge chop into your shoulder.
It takes six slashing damage
from this being that's in front of you.
I'm gonna try and shove it away from me
as hard as I can.
Make a strength check.
That's a 24.
Dang.
It's watermelons.
They go flying.
That's right.
The watermelons go flying.
The person goes flying.
Crashing through the crowd behind them.
Everybody begins following domino style
and they get absorbed into the ground
as they're rolling.
And this wave begins to roll
and hits down this wall at the end
and begins to rush back towards you.
I'm gonna try and stand my ground
against this wave.
I'm gonna put my axe out in front of me
and try and part it around me.
You gotta dive under a wave.
You gotta grab your surfboard
and get fucking gnarly.
I mean, those are all good options as well.
Okay, you're standing trying to...
You're gonna take the brunt of this wave.
All right, roll a strength check.
Strength or athletics.
That's a 27.
This wave crashes into you
and everything goes silent
until this rushing sound
begins turning around your ears.
You get bumped into as you open your eyes
and you find that you're at the bottom of this ocean
and these undead are moving around you.
And then you're sucked up through this whirlpool
and shot up into the air
and you crash down in a new location.
Kristen, where's the new location?
Desert Plain.
And the wind begins to rush past you
and sand begins to cut into your skin
leaving tiny little pinpricks
and small drips of blood
coming down from all over your exposed arms
and legs and face.
And you see up ahead of you
an arrow loosed rushing towards you
as Bort fires another one.
Roll a d20, please.
Here I go.
Roll high.
It's a two.
It lands at your feet
and as you look up
and give a smirk as you're about to walk towards him
this arrow explodes and blows you back
and you're going to take 30 bludgeoning damage.
Okay.
Bort rushes towards you
and leaps up into the air
with a scimitar in hand
and moves to try and attack you.
Make a dexterity saving throw.
16.
He crashes down on top of you
and although the blade misses you
he's got both knees pinned on top of your chest
as you feel yourself sinking into this sand
with him on top of you.
I'm gonna grab onto him and bring him with me.
The two of you are fighting in this quicksand
as the hot wind is blowing over top of you.
We see him trying to pull back
and you disappear below the surface
and he disappears behind him
as we are thrown back into the med tent.
And Glim, you are standing in front of Bahamut
who has been glowing in this iridescent
like rainbow aura that is illuminating this tent.
This black purple is coming from the cat lord
over in the corner
and the ground as Lipsinki is channeling
whatever primal energy she is channeling
is beginning to vibrate beneath you.
And Glim has her image of Bahamut
and she is staring at him
but holding that very tightly
and sort of quietly commuting with him
as she has since she was a child
very quietly under her breath.
Bahamut loves me this I know
for my magic book tells me so.
Did you go to Christian Bible school too?
I swear I know so many churchy kid songs
and this is the only one I can think of.
That was good.
That was great.
This tent is vibrating
with the chanting of runes
and this ritual being spoken out by Leosin
and this Bahamut Bible camp children's song
kind of piercing through all of the concophony
and the rumble in this ground
is getting more and more intense.
Back out of the tent
the ground begins to shake and rumble out
and Agoth and Nighthunter
and Sully and Moot and Flamicons
and Opal and Elia and everybody are all.
Your attention is drawn
and it feels like it's coming from the tent.
What do you do in that moment?
Is this a good thing or is this a bad thing?
Because it feels kind of bad
but it could be good.
I don't know.
I don't do the magics.
I mean I do do the magics
and I don't have any.
I just know that it's a lot.
There's a lot going on here.
You said do do.
I'm sorry.
I didn't hear a single word you said after that.
No that's right.
I did fair game.
I think Nighthunter we should go even.
Let's just go see.
In case it is something bad
and it comes out of the tent
we should be there and be ready.
Perhaps we we should stand guard at that tent
just in case.
Yes.
If something horrible comes out
we have to kill it.
Exactly.
Agoth you want to kill something?
If necessary.
Yeah it sounds like it could be necessary.
Everyone begins to move towards the med tent.
Elia and Nighthunter you're the first to approach
and you begin to part the tent flaps.
Just just for a little peek
we don't interrupt just want to make sure
you know things cool.
Light begins to pour out
and you see like you feel this vibrating energy
and all of this chanting and singing
going on in the tent
and the ground like you feel it begin to wave out below you.
The sand begins to rise and fall.
Nighthunter slowly backs away and is like
this this this looks like they need some privacy.
Perhaps we wait here.
Maybe we'll just stay outside
but maybe everybody just positive vibes.
Maybe we could just think of absolutely.
Right and and she picks up corpse grinder
just positive thoughts.
The rolling energy begins to move out
and down towards the ocean
and the waves begin crashing up
and back and forth
and there's this this echoing crack
that you hear from multiple locations
one from the med tent
one from further out to sea
one high above in the air
and there's this low rumble
that begins to build over it all.
And the sound of undead begins to echo
like almost up through the water.
That does not sound good.
No, no, it's we need to be ready.
This whirlpool begins to form almost like a tornado
up and out of the ocean
and it begins to move almost telescopic
and at the end of it is this
black is deep black roiling portal
and in it is the skull covered face
of this huge hideous
God and a voice echoes out
Show them the mercy that we bring
Show them what they can be
In the tent, Vorunax, you are commanding Flint to wake up.
Get up. Come on.
You feel all of this energy swirling.
It's like the power combined
of the power coming from Bahamut
and the Cat Lord and Lipsinki
are all nothing like you've ever felt before
and then you feel a shift in the air
and you look to Lipsinki
and Lipsinki, you feel it too
as you hear this voice echo from beyond
comes in waves at first
and then snaps into your ear as clear as day
Vorunax
Orcus is here
You heard that, Lipsinki?
Yeah, sounds like daddy's home and we better get out of here.
Everyone, I would steal yourselves.
Finish what we need to do here
or put it on hold, start over again later.
We can't, we can't put it on hold.
Then, Lipsinki, we have work to do.
Can the rest of you maintain this ritual without us?
I look to.
Leosin hasn't stopped the ritual.
He's continuing, he's trying to push past.
Yeah, go.
One last hit with the book before he heads out the tent.
Right on the forehead.
Wake up, we need you now.
We're back in the dream space.
Flint, you look around and the city of Greenest is in ruins
as you pick yourself up from the place you first died
just outside the keep in Greenest.
And you see clerics rushing a younger you back into the keep itself to revive you.
You stand up in this place and look down this long corridor of a street
and you see Bort, heavy breathed, dripping with blood from his own wounds,
staring down back at you.
I think it's time you make your move.
I already failed once here, it's not going to happen again.
And just slowly advance on him, axe drawn.
Bort loses three quick arrows which you manage to bat away.
And he pulls his own blade and less serial killer style begins rushing towards you.
Let's do it.
The two of you charge towards each other
and with a flash of light coming up between you,
you raise your weapons to strike down at each other.
And this huge crack rings out back in the med tent.
Flint's body's eyes open with a huge gasp of air sits straight up.
With Thea and Leosin and Glim and Bahamut all standing around him.
This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
Christian Brown, Devin Michaels, Craig Zeiss,
Aaron Stevens, Darylith, Lulahan, Charlie Warley and L.A. Branton.
To support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other productions
and get access to an exclusive podcast called The Adventures Of,
bonus episodes and much more, please join our Patreon at Patreon.com
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Thank you for listening.
Have a great week.
We'll talk again soon.
Make it.
No, I said zips by your head.
I'm gonna make you make a dexterity saving throw.
You're lucky, man.
It turns around.
Maybe I get in the way.
So what about boomerang arrows?
All right.
So Moot, you remember exactly where we're going?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we're off to the abyss, aren't we?
Okay.
I think you're going to Celestia to try and convince Bahamut
because Gwilym was like, I could talk to Bahamut real good.
So we wanted to go to the abyss because he's like,
these other guys are chumps.
Know what?
They can't fight orcas.
I want to punch him in the face.
But then Gwilym was like, chill.
Yeah, I think that's how that went exactly.
That is that does sound like everyone involved in that conversation.
We cut back to the med tent where where a beer is opened.
Well, that's how all the good medicine goes down in the med tent.
Bahamut is a pretty chill dude, you know?
Now that's how you start a ritual.
Hit record again.
Check one, two.
Checking also all the things.
It was a blip.
Just a tiny blip.
It didn't shut down the entire thing.
Okay.
With no more rune chanting.
You can do anything else.
Well, you can just play it in repeat on top of everyone else's when we do that.
Yeah, I'm just might just.
They're negative runes.
I didn't even say hagelos.
There we go.
That one means hell.
Geez.
Well, that's that's where we're going.
I thought you were going to say its face was on the watermelons.
Watermelon turns.
Oh, no.
My worst nightmare come true.
He looks down.
He's naked and he's late for school.
Okay.
Roll.
I can't have you roll.
I got to roll this one.
Roll.
What are you saying?
Yeah.
What are you saying?
He wanted to be successful and actually a challenge.
Rude.
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